heart of darkness

I received three e-mails in a five minute span just now from Richard Mongosutu, a former assistant to Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe who is now hiding out in some internet-wired refugee camp in South Africa. Apparently he's really eager to get in touch with me! After offering introductions and salutations, Mongosutu writes to offer the following opportunity:

DUE TO MY POSITION AND CLOSENESS WITH THEMINISTER, I WAS ABLE TO 

MANIPULATE WITH SOME SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF MONEY AMOUNTING TO $ 13.5 

MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS... 



CURRENTLY THE FUND IS IN A SECURITY FINANCE COMPANY BECAUSE OF THE

PROBLEMS IN MY COUNTRY... WE ARE THEREFORE LOOKING FOR A TRUSTWORTHY

INDIVIDUAL/FIRM TO ADVICE OR ASSIST US IN MAKING THE RIGHTFUL

INVESTMENT. MORESO WE ARE INTERESTED IN BUYING PROPERTIES FOR

RESIDENTIAL AS MY FAMILY WILL BE RESIDING THERE IN THE NEAR FUTURE.



COMMISSION / REMUNERATION AS REGARDS YOUR ASSISTANCE; 

MY FAMILY AND I SHALL OFFER YOU 20% OF THE TOTAL SUM AND ALL YOUR

EXPENSES I.E {TELEPHONE BILLS, TRAVEL EXPENSES ETC.} SHALL ALSO BE

REFUNDED BACK TO YOU.

20% of $13.5 million is $2.7 million dollars! You can buy a lot of Michael's Frozen Custard and Easy Mac for $2.7 million dollars. No more selling Amway and Mary Kay for me--once this comes through I'll be able to buy my own pink cadillac instead of going door-to-door trying to sell crates of cosmetics. Especially since the message went on to assure me that this money would come to me with absolutely no risk, I wasn't going to wait for opportunity to knock again. I immediately responded:

Mr. Mongosutu:



I am sorry to hear about your situation.  Please let me know what would be involved in helping you.



--Jeremy

As long as you promise not to try to cut in on my deal, I'll keep you posted as the deal proceeds.