no experience, no problem! (however, we will need you to saw off your left arm...)

Below is an excerpt from some Internet chatboard. Trev Alberts is an Iowa native who played football at Nebraska and is now a television commentator. Nebraska recently fired their head coach and they are searching for a new one. I include the following not because of anything to do with college football, but instead as a counterpoint to those who believe that all Iowans are naturally modest, or, at least, this shows that even if all Iowans were naturally modest, the trait can be excised by unseemly and out-of-state collegiate experiences.

Stupid Kevin from Lincoln: This morning in his column, Peter King said that in the past, you've expressed interest in coaching the Huskers. Your response? Are you a candidate?

Trev Alberts: I'll have to check that out.. Peter is a dear friend of mine from my days at CNN. It's always an awkward question but if you are asking me would I be the head coach there? I would give my left arm. But that's not the point. I have the greatest job right now. I chose a different path. Do I have the skills to be a head coach? Absolutely. I'd be great at it. But it would be a pretty couragous move to hire a guy with no experience. But let's not confuse the issue.. I am a supporter of Nebraska and have not been contacted about the vacancy. But do I want it? Yes!!!!

I am currently in a twelve-step program to work on my inclination toward Schadenfreude, or else I would offer Trev Alberts's right arm just for the opportunity to see him get the Nebraska coaching job and then fail miserably and fall forever into disgrace. Fortunately, I have put such bilious thoughts behind me.