Saturday, April 17, 2004

mass attenuation project update

Today is Day 14 of what was formerly known as the Cheese and Nut Diet, and which has now morphed into the Cheese and Nut and Fruits and Vegetables and Fish and occasionally Hot Chocolate Diet. All is still going well. The goal is to make it to the end of the semester, which is three weeks away. Some observations:

1. Yes, I really am eating a whole lot of nuts. Most of what I am eating are cashews and macademian nuts, with almonds and peanuts also commonly consumed.

2. I resent those who refer to what I am doing as a "Vegetarian Atkins Diet." For an example of what I am having to deal with, here's a verbatim snippet from a telephone conversation earlier today:

"You're on a vegetarian Atkins diet."
"No. It's a Cheese and Nut and Fruits and Vegetables and Fish and occasionally Hot Chocolate Diet."
"So, you're saying you're on a vegetarian Atkins diet."

First, a diet with fish in its name is not vegetarian. Second, hot chocolate is not Atkins-approved anyway. Second, I am eating way more fruits and verboten vegetables with more abandon that is Atkins-recommended. Third, why are all diets that have some carbohydrate-aversion now automatically deemed to be either Atkins, South Beach, or children or stepchildren thereof. Fourth, it's strange that there would even be the idea of a vegetarian variant of a diet that moves people to eat fifteen consecutive days of sirloin.

3. I have indeed experienced the keto-breath I was warned about. I don't know if I would agree that it's like sucking on a dime or not. Part of the problem is that I don't really have that great of an idea of what sucking on a dime tastes like.

[oh, how I hate to catch myself claiming ignorance on matters for which ignorance is easily overcome. Let me go pull some change out of my glass jar...]

No, I can now confidently state that it's really much closer to sucking on a nickel.*

* Warning: For safety's sake, always wash coins before sucking on them.

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