Saturday, January 31, 2004


Two people considering the gloomy question: What if you were with me and I got shot and was laying there in a pool of blood with like 30 seconds left to live, what would you say to me?

"I'd tell you that I would make sure your cat is taken care of."
"Why would you tell me that?"
"Okay, I'd tell you that I'll make sure your cat isn't take care of. I'll make sure the cat is put down immediately, stuffed by an expert taxidermist, and crammed into the casket beside you as you are being lowered into the earth. Is that better?"


"What would you want me to say to you?"
"That you'll make sure I'm cremated and that they don't have a religious funeral for me."
"Why not? Why would you care? You're dead. Wouldn't it make your family even more said if they couldn't have a religious funeral for you? Aren't you being selfish?"
"See, this is exactly how my final 30 seconds would go. I would tell you my dying wish, and then you would argue with me and try to make me feel guilty about it, and then I would die thinking that even though I had just explicitly told you my last wishes you were going to go ahead and do whatever you wanted anyway."

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