Saturday, March 13, 2004

dispatch from bloomington, #1

My God, are there really no posts from me since Wednesday? I wrote a post Friday morning, before I left for Bloomington. What happened to it? I can't even remember right now entirely what it was about.

Anyway, I'm here in Bloomington, and within ten minutes of my arrival I had already decided that I needed to add a new rule to my life: It's acceptable if you want to begin a sentence with "Dr. Phil says...," but, if you want to finish that sentence, you have to pay me a quarter first. I will not listen to any "life lessons" from Dr. Phil--at least, as being explicitly attributed to said doctor--without being at least nominally compensated for it.

Update, 3/16: In response to a reader suggestion, I have amended the above rule to apply to any instance of "[honorific] + [first name only] says ..." So, "Dr. Laura says..." or "Judge Judy says..." also cost you a quarter. "Judge Wapner says..." or "Mr. Rogers says..." remain free, even if not particularly welcome.

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