Thursday, August 26, 2004

behind the music: the kind of negotiations that can go into a single multiperson/multiplatinum karaoke performance

(eventual boy band leader/Justin-figure crooning his best for a mob of adoring fans)

"We're trying to put together a boy band. Do you want to join us?"
"What song?"
"'It's Gonna Be Me'"
"Never heard it. Never heard of it."
"It's by N'Sync"
"Can I be Lance?"
"I don't know any of them besides Justin."
"Lance is the weird-looking one who wanted to be shot into space by the Russians." (link)
"Okay, you're Lance."
"Will I be expected to gyrate?"
"Of course."
"No way. I'm too prim and untrim to gyrate."
"Fine, no gyrating. You can stand in back. But you still have to look hot."
"Sign me up."

Note: An e-mail received this morning from one attendee of last night's karaoke proclaimed that the ensuing performance was, in her opinion, the biggest highlight of the many-highlight-filled evening. Due, in no part, to Mr. Purpletext above.


Anonymous said...

it is true. mr. purpletext had me screaming so hard that i coughed up blood when i got home. i swooning right now.

Anonymous said...

According to Mr. Redtext, the end of the conversation went a little something like this:

"Okay you're Lance."
"Do I have to sing?"
"No, you can just dance if you want."
"Can I gyrate? As long I can gyrate against your leg, I'll do it."
"Yes, fantastic. But I don't want to hear any complaining out of you, pretty boy. You're to be seen and not heard, you got that! This boy band isn't a democracy. You're just supposed to make me look good; I'm the heart and soul of this band! Any profits we split 80-20."
"Sign me up."
"Oh, and one more thing: No groupies for you! They're all mine!"

After the performance, Mr. Redtext proceeds to get hot groupie action. Mr. Purpletext gets 20% of nothing.

Anonymous said...

you know what? i meant mr. redtext. my head must still be spinning from last night's show. *sigh*