This weekend, for the first time, a friend saw fit to give me my first XX-Large present ever. My self-consciousness swelled with gratitude.
"Thanks! And, um, thanks for showing that you've noticed how I've turned into this giant bloated carcass of a man."
"You're welcome, whaleboy! Except: given the state of your posterior, you might think about capitalizing the last three letters of 'carcass'."
7 comments:
Wow. Your friends are nice.
They are nicer than they used to be, mostly because nowadays they are afraid that if they step too far out of line, I will eat them.
Just because you're fat, doesn't mean you're a cannibal. I get this All The Time.
Jeremy is hardly an XXL candidate. Furthermore, XXL is hardly synonymous with fat.
what about XXLDM?
XXLDM backwards, MDLXX, is 2570 in Roman numerals, which is also, coincidentally, the year when-- assuming immortality and extrapolating forward from current trends--I will pack on my one millionth pound.
I'm going to make a version of the Six Million Dollar Man, only bring it out in Britain and call it the Six Million Pound Man. Then I'll sit back and watch the hilarity. Start working on your British accent now, Mr. Freese.
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