Friday, February 13, 2004

where are they now? new contest: josh klugman

While the hunt for Brian Dietz continues, popular demand has asked me to see about the possible summoning effects of another shout-out for someone back from my days in graduate school: Josh Klugman, a member of Rob Clark's cohort and at least rumored to be the son of the beloved star of the Odd Couple and (better) Quincy, ME.*

I finished up and left Bloomington in December 2000, during the court-assisted ascension of GWB to the Presidency. Reports then were that Klugman was leaving to join the new Bush administration as an subundersecretary in the treasury department, although such assignments are very often cover for those being recruited into either secret US intelligence posts or super-secret "dirty tricks" re-election rogue operations.

Three Kluggish sightings have been reported to our bureaus over the past year:

1. I thought I saw him when I was in Taiwan last fall. He was wearing a dark suit and speaking furtively into a walkie-talkie; we made eye contact, and then he stepped quickly into an alley and was gone. I'm not sure it was him.

2. Rob thought he saw him in the background in the Amazing Race (3?) episode where the contestents were in Chile. The man in the background was wearing a beret and circa 1973 Chilean military fatigues. He was holding something that looked like a giant citrus zester and shaking it menacingly at another fellow.

3. An generally unreliable informant told us she saw Klugman in Bloomington recently. We think that's unlikely, but if it is true, it's almost certain that he's there in some kind of secret and most likely sinister capacity. He has likely been trained in the dark arts of the current administration and may have even had a chip implanted in his brain. So, while JFW wishes to know what Josh is up to these days, approach him with utmost caution and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ATTEMPT TO APPREHEND HIM.

Our own research makes us even more dubious of the Bloomington scenario. A search of turns up only two entries for Josh Klugman:

Klugman, Josh
Palo Alto, CA 94301

Klugman, Joshua
4387 Marraco Dr,
San Diego, CA 92115-5642

On the strength of this, it looks like our California correspondents may have to carry the ball for us on this one. Leave no stone unturned! Go forth, cyberbloodhounds, and do not rest until Josh Klugman has been found!

* God, did I love Quincy, ME. I had seen every episode at least thrice by the time I left the farm, and I believed that I had a psychic/empathetic bond with his hardworking Asian-American assistant Sam.

No comments: