Monday, May 01, 2006

weddings i have known

The weekend I will be attending this weekend may be my first where "black tie optional" was explicitly stated on the invitation. As I was just telling my friend, if one were to do a tally and figure the median wedding I've attended, I think it would still reflect my rural Iowa roots than my subsequent travels through different ways of being associated with universities (this, in turn, being the result of the general tendency for graduate students in sociology the past two decades either to be married when they come to graduate school or, as far as I can tell, to never marry).

At one of the more memorable weddings from my youth, the bride shouted "Ya-hoo!" as they reached the back of the church during the recessional. The reception itself was held on her parents' farm about eight miles out of town. Her brother tacked signs to telephone poles pointing to the reception that said just "FREZ -->" because he didn't know how to spell "Freese" (much less, presumably, "Reception"). There was a fight at the reception that involved a distant female relative of mine digging her fingernails into some man's face. The marriage itself ended a few years later when the groom came home one day and the bride, daughter, and all furniture of any consequence was gone.

16 comments:

Rhymes With Scrabble said...

At the wedding I was in this weekend, I was wearing the most expensive shoes of any member of the bridal party, including the bride. They were $15 silver thong sandals from Old Navy.

Nobody shouted "Yahoo!" though.

brady said...

I played in the band at a wedding reception somewhere up north in Wisconsin once, and it was very possibly the best wedding ever. I think the highlight of the evening, as best as I can remember (it gets a litle fuzzy around one), was the drunken uncle (tm) refusing to relinquish control of our microphones until we agreed to play some Cheap Trick, 60s-style R&B band or not.

And thus we did break out "Southern Girls," and thus did the crowd lose their collective shit.

Anonymous said...

My mother recently suggested she would like to hire a horse and carriage to carry my sister and her groom from the church to the reception. Money does not buy taste.

Anonymous said...

Horse and Carriage: They do it all the time out in Sudbury. No sweat. Gives them a chance to relax before the festivities pick up again (are you the bride's brother or her sister?)

carly said...

I don't get this whole "black tie optional" thing. I want explicit instructions -- i.e. I don't want to be the only one who gets dressed to the nines not knowing that "black tie optional" in this case means "I guess you could wear a tux if you really wanted to..."

K said...

Yes, I'm with Carly: 'optional' has no place on an invitation - it just makes everyone feel awkward, either over-or under-dressed!
Just pick a dress code and stick to it, people!

A+ said...

Doesn't "black tie optional" usually mean, "if you're not wearing a tux, then you definitely must be wearing a slammin (i.e., $3000) suit"? That's what I always thought. But maybe I invented that in my head.

Plus, doesn't help if you don't have a nice suit.

Teddy Love said...

OK, not sure how I know this but "black tie optional" is a phenomenon unto itself. It means you're going to a fairly formal wedding and that men should either wear a tuxedo or a something resembling a tuxedo like a dark suit and women should wear a formal dress but not necessarily a long, gown type thing.

Shouting "Yahoo" or "Yeehaw" is also, presumably, optional.

jeremy said...

For men, I interpret "black tie optional" as meaning: A tux if you own one; otherwise, a black suit if you own one; otherwise, a suit if you own one; otherwise, go buy a suit.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you'll look VERY nice (but don't wear that tie you wrote about awhile ago).

Rhymes With Scrabble said...

Why does everybody always hate on that tie? I LIKED that tie.

captain crab said...

If you all are lucky PJ will post about OUR wedding!

Anonymous said...

the general tendency for graduate students in sociology the past two decades either to be married when they come to graduate school or, as far as I can tell, to never marry

Hmm, this seems like a falsifiable generalization. It also seems to me a false one, if you leave out the "as far as I can tell" part.

Anonymous said...

Google "black tie optional" for a link to numerous sites with explanations. Bottom line: tuxedo is appropriate, but not required. Suit is fine. Preferably dark, but any suit will do. One is not overdressed in a tuxedo nor underdressed without one.

Jennifer said...

the general tendency for graduate students in sociology the past two decades either to be married when they come to graduate school or, as far as I can tell, to never marry

Mostly, it's kind of a depressing generalization, given that (1) I am not married and (2) I am beginning sociology grad school in the fall.

Gwen said...

One of my relatives had a wedding at the "lake" once. By "lake," I mean small man-made body of water filled with duck crap. We all gathered around a picnic table. The bride and groom wore matching Wranglers. The table decorations were mason quart jars filled with dried pinto beans with a candle sticking up in the middle.

*That's* class, my friends.