Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Guest blogger chimes in: on Polish kings and truth in advertising

Dispatch from Nina:

Some may regard it as an honor to be guest blogging on JFW. I can’t say that the invitation to post here was especially charitable. It was presented in the following way: JF: “I am desperate to move beyond some of these [especially lurid and vile?] posts and I haven’t the time. Post something for me!” So I agreed, myself wanting not to wake up anymore to the blistering remarks about the worth of Polish sausages, all just a mere half-dozen posts preceding this day (see comments to “as above so below").

But what really pushed me into this was the next part of the conversation. JF: “Why are you so worked up about the comments on JFW about Polish sausages? You know it’s the truth: brats are better than Polish sausage.” My reply: “How can you say that? You are a vegetarian-piscatorian [is that even a word?]. You don’t know tofu about brats.” JF: “Actually I had a brat during Labor Day week-end. And then another after that. And then another. Delicious.”

And so I feel compelled to say something for the sake of the blog banner of honesty: Jeremy eats brats. And, Jeremy drives a car to work each day (remember that post about biking? Uh-uh). Mr. blogger extraordinaire also thinks his posts can generate comments, more so than anybody’s on this or the other side of the ocean. And I have to agree. In the same way that GWB can capture the southern States even if he does nothing more than perch himself on a fence and shoot spitballs at various passersby, so too it appears that Jeremy can post anything at all, even one flippant little comment about a bumper sticker, and 20 people will trip over themselves in a rush to chime in (you would be correct to point out that I am deserving of a free drink as well, having punched in full a card of “ten comments and the next one’s on us”).

But I do want to say one thing. Don’t bask too long and hard, Mr. JF. There is an old Polish proverb that says “he [yes, the Polish language is gratuitously generous toward the male-kind] who favors brats over kielbasa shows himself to be a mere caricature of a person; but he who exalts the sausage of Polish kings, deserves the crown of a glorious future and the good fortunes that befit a nobleman.” I feel for you, Jeremy. But there’s still time. I’ll send the kielbasa truck to your RV when next I see it. What’s your address again? I don’t seem to recall any RV lots within biking distance of Sociology…


13 comments:

dorotha said...

six of one, half dozen of the other, nina.

incidently, my ex-boyfriend and i once got in a tremendous fight because he went out of town and came back admitting to having eaten 3 kinds of meat in one meal. this was after we had been dating for a year or two, most of that time in which he pretended to be a vegetarian. it turned out that he just stopped eating meat around me and had been pretending to be a vegetarian out of some conviction that i would flip out on him if i knew about his meat eating. i didn't care, although i did consider three kinds of meat in one meal to be something of a slap in the face. and i was really upset that he had been lying in an attempt to impress me.

it is good that jeremy has fessed up to the brats. something like that could come back to haunt a person.

jeremy said...

Most of Nina's post is a strange blend of fiction and fantasy, with the only fact being the part about where I do now eat bratwurst. I wrote a post about this, but she scooped me before I could post it.

Anonymous said...

I never heard of that proverb. You sure it's Polish? It sounds more Latvian to me. Truth in advertising!

Anonymous said...

Latvians make better sausage than the Poles, that much is for sure. So do the Ukranians, and this Uzbeki guy I know.

Anonymous said...

Latvians make better sausage than the Poles, that much is for sure. So do the Ukranians, and this Uzbeki guy I know.

Anonymous said...

Y'all are nuts. With the exception of blood sausage, pretty much all sausages have their individual pleasures, and guess what? The world does not demand of you that you choose only one kind of sausage.

I wouldn't make biscuits and gravy with anything other than bulk sage sausage, but on the other hand, keilbasa fried with potatoes, onions and apples is about the Best Comfort Food Ever.

Anonymous said...

what about bulgarian bratwurst? much better than anything poland has ever produced. i'm tired of everyone forgetting about bulgaria. i think bulgaria should be in the EU on the strength of their bratwurst alone.

Anonymous said...

While I should be shocked, truly shocked, by Jeremy's trangressions, I understand the temptation of a plump, juicy brat straight off the grill.

I have to admit to uh, no experience with Polish sausage whatsoever. But, ever conflict-averse, I'd like to add that I'm sure they are wonderful too.

Anonymous said...

when I first read this post, my eyes jumped down the page and caught the phrase, in bold, "jeremy eats brats." while I was disappointed to find that the post was referring to a vice other than child-consumption, I would say it's fair to give the sausage crown to the polish kielbasa, seeing as it's about all they have by way of cuisine. :) seriously, though, the term "brat" causes a frustrating amount of confusion whenever I proudly wear my bratfest tee-shirt out of state.

Tonya said...

I, for one, am glad to hear that Jeremy is now eating meat. I've always been wary of men who are vegetarians. They seem -- well, how to say this without sounding too harsh -- they seem too delicate and womanish. A real man wouldn't shy away from meat products. A real man would grab hold of a big, juicy steak with his teeth and rip the meat from the bones.

jeremy said...

Beyond the meat matter, Tonya's comment raises a dilemma that many men face: can you be a "real man" and still use utensils? There are many men, I think, for whom it is important to exude an air of hegemonic masculinity but who also, when it gets right down to it, would just as soon use a fork and spoon.

Anonymous said...

did you ever consider that there may be a reason for calling a brat a brat? what, you think it's from the german word "bratwurst"? as in the wurst kind of kid on the block? I want that tee from wisconsin about eating brats! are they online?

Anonymous said...

here you go: www.bratgear.com