Monday night, a mostly depressing telephone conversation with a friend was enlivened by what sounded like three gunshots fired nearby in rapid succession. Growing up in rural Iowa, I was not exactly trained in the ways of urban warfare, but I do have a preternatural ability to panic. So my first reaction was to hit the floor and then crawl to the window facing the street to peek outside.
"You are such a drama queen. Are you seriously crawling around on the floor?"
"Yes! It sounded like gunshots! It sounded like it was right outside!"
"It was probably just some kid down the street with fireworks."
"Gunshots! Right outside!"
"Yeah, right. I bet someone was trying to get you with a drive-by, just like in 'Profz in the Hood'."
Today, as I was leaving the RV, my neighbor came out and asked if I had heard three gunshots on Monday night. I said I had. He then walked the thirty feet with me to the driveway where we park our cars and pointed out how there were indeed three gun shells right there on the asphalt.
10 comments:
still, it isn't like they shot at your window or your tires or something.
First gunshots that go through my window, I'm moving the RV to a new neighborhood, if not a different municipality altogether.
another example of the superiority of knives. i mean, whose sleep (or phone conversation) is interrupted by a few random knife jabs in the air? it's much more civilized (even if harder to kill deer).
You're right! Knives rule!
Those appear to be shells from a handgun, not a rifle, which means that it's not a sniper. Technically, you have a driveway pistolero.
Thanks for the clarification. I feel much better knowing there is somebody skulking around the outside of the RV with a loaded handgun rather than just a loaded rifle.
The crime rate in Jeremy's neighborhood has risen significantly in the past few weeks. I understand that a friend of his was the victim of a hit-and-run accident perpetrated by someone parked in a neighboring spot. Perhaps the shooting was this scofflaw's attempt to turn away a vengeful neighborhood watch posse. We can only hope that drawing and quartering puts an end to this rash of despicable crimes.
Remember that guy who said he wanted to sing "All Out of Love" at the karaoke bar, but you beat him to it? Well, he remembers you.
Hey, look on the bright side: the shooter was apparently too hopped up on smack to actually hit anything. That's gotta make you feel better, right?
they/he/she mistook you for the lonely donut man
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