"I read your weblog today."
"I thought the post about Chronic Dipshit Day was a little negative."
"You think I came across as anti-dipshit?"
"I don't think 'dipshit' is a very productive or constructive word."
"I'm not sure I was trying to be productive or constructive."
"Anyway, you make it sound like you are drowning in dipshits. You're not."
"You're right, you're right, I'm not. I'm probably even on a good streak of dipshit-free days."
"I don't even know what a dipshit is, exactly."
"I don't know... I suppose it's roughly synonymous with something like 'dumbass.' Or 'incorrigible dumbass'. Or, really, 'willfully incorrigible dumbass'."
"Yeah, well, it doesn't seem very consistent with this effort you're supposedly making to be more positive."
"Did you read my post this afternoon?"
"No, what was it?"
"You should read it."
"What's it about?"
"You should just read it."
"Come on, what's it about? Is it about me?"
"No, it's about 'should'."
"Is it about me and how I'm always saying you should do this or do that?"
"It's not about anyone specifically."
"Anyway, you should read it. You could have probably made a dollar from this conversation alone if you'd read it. I made this proclamation/resolution, and I haven't been doing very well with it so far."
"Like this would be the first time. Remember your posts about the treadmill you bought and were going to use every day?"
"Shut up. Don't even think I'm going to link to that."