(paralyzed because i can't decide which replacements/paul westerberg song/lyric would make most clever pithy title here. too much pressure.)

Shelly B, through her media connections, knew someone who was going to be doing a magazine interview with Paul Westerberg and was looking for questions. She asked Brady Potts, a graduate student who has parts of Replacements' album covers tattooed on my body, and me, who credits Westerberg with helping preserve my sanity in my undergraduate and early graduate school years. Alas, we have no indications that our questions were actually asked, so I thought I would record them for posterity here.

Brady's questions:

1. RIAA Suing Downloaders...whaddaya think 'bout that?

2. Is Grandpaboy a violent man, or is he just misunderstood?

3. Does he need a bass player? (*cough cough*)

4. Why'd you throw the corn at us in Madison?

5. Do obsessive Replacements fans scare or bother you?

6. Why'd they push the release date for "Folker" back?

7. How'd Grandpaboy get over to Fat Possum records?

8. Do you need a bass player?

My questions:

1. Does he still feel a warm glow from the high school being named Westerberg High in Heathers?

2. Did he ever actually [whatever the discreet term reporters use for 'had sexual relations with'] Winona Ryder

3. Did contribute anything to her defense fund when she was busted for shoplifting? [note: Brady informed me later that PW has indeed been asked if Winona Rider ever stole anything from him, and his response was "my time"]

4. Does he feel like he has become a better lyricist over the years, or does he think "Dope Smokin Moron" was as good as it got?

5. Presumably The Replacements' two great songs about unrequited love and public transportation, "Kiss Me on the Bus" and "Skyway", were not about the same woman. Did the women overlap? Did the bus-woman know about the skyway-woman? Was she jealous or just resigned about it?

6. Who would he say is the most important musician to come out of Minnesota: him, Bob Dylan, Prince, or the bass/dobro player from the Gear Daddies?

7. Does he needs a sociologist for his band?

8. What about a weblogger with mad Stata skillz?