"Your blog is a bunch of crap."
"That thing about Natalie MacMaster. You keep falling for some female musician and saying that you are going to quit your job and follow her around, and you never do."
"Fine, you caught me. I'm not going to quit my job and follow around Natalie MacMaster."
"Remmeber that woman who was the sister of The Weeds?"
"You said you were going to marry her."
"Turns out that you can't marry somebody unilaterally. They have to agree."
"For that matter, it also turns out that it's hard to get somebody to agree to marry you if you don't ask them, introduce yourself to them, or do anything to inform them that you exist."
"And before was the whole thing with Kirsty MacColl."
"Hey, don't go there. 'They Don't Know' is the single most underappreciated Simple Pop Song of the last half century."
"She wrote it about me. No lie."
"You're insane. Remember when you wrote that post claiming that 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' was written about you."
"I'm not insane. I'm inspiring."
"So why aren't you with Kirsty MacColl now?"
"Because she is dead. I'm still not over it."
"Oh yeah, I forgot. But before that was that woman from Sixpence None the Richer."
"I can't believe you would even bring that up. That was like a one day infatuation, at most. It was before I realized they are mostly contemporary Christian music. Then I knew it was never going to work out."