Saturday, April 09, 2005

a portrait of the artist as a hopelessly immature man

"Your blog is a bunch of crap."
"Why now?"
"That thing about Natalie MacMaster. You keep falling for some female musician and saying that you are going to quit your job and follow her around, and you never do."
"Fine, you caught me. I'm not going to quit my job and follow around Natalie MacMaster."
"Remmeber that woman who was the sister of The Weeds?"
"Mirah."
"You said you were going to marry her."
"Turns out that you can't marry somebody unilaterally. They have to agree."
"Who knew?"
"For that matter, it also turns out that it's hard to get somebody to agree to marry you if you don't ask them, introduce yourself to them, or do anything to inform them that you exist."
"And before was the whole thing with Kirsty MacColl."
"Hey, don't go there. 'They Don't Know' is the single most underappreciated Simple Pop Song of the last half century."
"So?"
"She wrote it about me. No lie."
"You're insane. Remember when you wrote that post claiming that 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' was written about you."
"I'm not insane. I'm inspiring."
"So why aren't you with Kirsty MacColl now?"
"Because she is dead. I'm still not over it."
"Oh yeah, I forgot. But before that was that woman from Sixpence None the Richer."
"I can't believe you would even bring that up. That was like a one day infatuation, at most. It was before I realized they are mostly contemporary Christian music. Then I knew it was never going to work out."

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You take a lot of artistic license on your blog! I object to sounding stupid, even if it is in a work of fiction!
--improperly quoted in indiana

jeremy said...

Presumably "improperly quoted in Indiana" is, like "Helpful in New Hampshire", just another pseudonym for Lonely Donut Man. Even though we know LDM works in Kentucky. My conversation was not with LDM. Of course, barring minor edits in the interests of discretion or concision, all dialogues reported on this blog are verbatim accounts of actual conversations.

Goesh said...

I swear on Van Gogh's severed ear that I have posted nothing on JFW since the revalation post a while back in which I told of the meaning of my name, Goesh, after Jeremy informed the readers where LDM lives. That was the last entry I made on JFW. LDM failed to mention when he said good bye that he was also Arnold Swogstein, who was edited into silence rather quickly I might add after he did some inappropriate bashing. I have half a meager manuscript of poems compiled, aiming for a minor publishing house when it is complete, and I will remain a reader of JFW only. Now poor LDM will be blamed for any other basket case that comes along and posts here. That's just great, but, I guess its a burden anonymous posters have to bear. I have put myself in front of the Walter Mitty firing squad and will remain a reader of JFW only, not a participant. Please don't ask me to cut off an ear and UPS it to Madison as proof that I am not posting here.

jeremy said...

LDM/Goesh/etc.: Feel free to continue to comment here. Also, if you send me an ear, send it to my departmental rather than home address. I'll scan it and post it.

Anonymous said...

You do know that Tracy Ullman wrote "They Don't Know."