Tuesday, April 26, 2005

the smoldering machinations of brayden king

Brayden has a crush on Jenny Lewis, front woman for the band Rilo Kiley. Of course, being a devoted family man, he can't do much about it. He can't, for example, tell his soon-to-be employer that the deal is off because he's going to follow Rilo Kiley around for a few years. So, does this mean that he's destined to just listening to her music and maybe catching an RK show every decade or so when they pass through Provo?

No! Resourceful guy that he is, he starts to think about what his best chance is to get to see Jenny Lewis in person more often. He realizes that, rather than him dropping everything to follow Jenny Lewis, he needs to hatch a plan to get Jenny Lewis into his orbit. Eureka! You see where this is going! Brayden needs to figure out how to get Jenny Lewis to start making annual appearances at the American Sociological Association conference. But how could this possibly happen?

Taking a page out of the seedy guys on the corner who push free samples of heroin on fourth-graders, Brayden decides he needs to lure Jeremy into starting to listen to Jenny Lewis. Get Jeremy hooked, so the sinister reasoning goes, and then the unencumbered Jeremy will start following Rilo Kiley around until he has won Ms. Lewis's affections. Then, since Jenny Lewis will be unwilling to spend more than a few hours separated from Jeremy, Jeremy will be forced to drag her along to the ASA meetings, where she will sit starry-eyed in the front row of his presentations. Twisted, yes; diabolical, sure; but, you have to admit, clever! And, at least in terms of Phase One of the plan, effective: I played the Rilo Kiley CD something like six times yesterday while I was working. Unfortunately, however, I'm going to be in Europe when Rilo Kiley plays Eau Claire, which means that Phase Four of the plan will probably not be completed in time for a Jenny Lewis appearance at the ASA's in Philadelphia in August.

7 comments:

Alan Schussman said...

Does this mean we (finally!) can have the "if Brayden and Jeremy had a fight" thread? I hear Brayden has a killer reverse hammerlock move.

Anonymous said...

Poor, poor Jeremy. In love with another pop-tartlet whom you will never marry because she will probably want to share your name, your e-mail password, and too many details about your bodily functions.

Anonymous said...

She may even want to take over the Blog as well!

Brayden said...

If I've learned anything during my stay in Arizona, it's that you can get what you want through your social networks. But I'm not sure I'm pleased with the rapidity of the plan's completion. You may have to take one for the team Jeremy and forego your trip to Europe.

Alan - Didn't we already have a Brayden vs. Wisconsin thread? I seem to recall somebody from Wisconsin wanting to take off my ear.

jeremy said...

Dorotha's role-playing group has played out "Brayden versus Jeremy" thousands of times and it turns out that Jeremy usually wins unless Brayden casts his "Procrastinatro!" spell, against which Jeremy has long been known to be powerless.

valerio said...

rilo kiley is great! i'm not going to go into "jenny lewis" issue, but the music I found on their web site kicks ass. cool.

tina said...

So, when Brayden and Jeremy throw down at the ASA, will Jenny Lewis side with the macho victor? or will her heart melt in sympathy for the downtrodden loser? These two may want to adjust their fighting strategies accordingly.