Saturday, April 23, 2005

patriarchy 1, hawkeyes 0



When my friend Jan, a fellow Iowa alum and avid Hawkeyes fan, married John, an avid Wolverines fan, it wasn't sure whether their incompatible Big 10 blood would even allow them to be able to successfully breed. But they did. Then, friends wondered less about how the couple would juggle the demands of career and childraising so much about how they would juggle raising a child to have sufficiently socialization to be able later to choose for himself how much Michigan vs. Iowa loyalty to have. You can see from the photo what the "resolution" has been. I have to admit, the hypnobear mobile is a method of indoctrination so clever I wish I had thought of it.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually, Jan sold out her Hawkeyes very early on, agreeing that any children that resulted from this union would be raised "Wolverine" in order that Catholic John would agree to be married in the Methodist church, and any children would be raised Methodist. A fair trade perhaps, as John is probably more of a Christian than a strict Catholic anyway, and Jan is much less loyal to the Hawkeyes than John is the Wolverines. And apparently all are happy. I've seen the photo of Jan in her Michigan shirt holding her son in his Michigan outfit, I bet I can convince John to send you a copy if you'd like more evidence of Jan's betrayal. But don't worry, Jeremy, if grades are a problem for the boy, I've heard that John has already agreed to let his son apply to Iowa as a backup school.

Anonymous said...

The hynobear mobile has had an even higher indoctrination rate than the Ludoviko Treatment. Impressive indeed.

Anonymous said...

In some Iowa alumni gatherings they refer to Jan as "Mary Sue".

Dr. Ludovico said...

That would be the Ludovico Treatment, please get the name right. And I would like to see some statistics on the Hypnobear Effect. It is clever, and does have the advantage of being sinister: even mean queen Martha Stewart has taken a position against using teddy bears for mind-control.

jeremy said...

Ooh, the Mary Sue reference almost sailed past me, but then, at the last moment, I got it with a kick save.

As for the Jan and John's eventual college plans for their son, I've heard that, under Michigan's points-based admissions system, you get 10 points if you can show that you had at least three Michigan items in the crib throughout a child's first year of life.