Dear Mr. Freese: I am an older student, part time, and I am ultra conservative. You seem like a fair man so I feel you can give me sound, objective advice. I am a freshman and I think I am falling love with a Sophmore who is a self avowed ultra Liberal. How can I break the ice with her? Should I get a sack of donuts, approach her and ask if she dropped them? I don't want to talk politics as I fear she is smarter than I am. I am very lonely, please help.I have considered changing the format of this blog so that the entire theme is me providing advice to the lovelorn. And, if there is any group about which I would think I would have special insight to offer, it would be sophomoric-ultra-liberals. At the moment I'm too preoccupied with some other matters and so won't have time to answer this one until maybe tomorrow. But, considering the libidinal urgency of the request, can someone else help me out by offering some counsel here?
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
readers: help this man before he drops his donuts!
One of the many anonymous JFW commenters just left the following as a comment to a recent post:
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15 comments:
ooooh! i love the donut idea! i don't think this man needs your help at all.
don't worry about the politics, eventually she will convince you.
I think most ultra-liberal women are just pining for a ultra-conservative man to come along and bring them into line. It's their cute way of playing hard-to-get. If you drop the donuts fast enough, you might get another vote for Bush!
I think most ultra-liberal women are just pining for a ultra-conservative man to come along and bring them into line. It's their cute way of playing hard-to-get. If you drop the donuts fast enough, you might get another vote for Bush!
glazed or jelly filled??????????? PolySci 101 9:00am MWF - discreetly holding a white sack, cough twice as you pass by if you find me alluring, once if you need time to consider - no cough, no donuts
gotta treat 'em rough if you wanna get the muff. words to live by, man.
My heart oozeth raspberry
from its hardened shell
baked in the crucible of academics
I long for your insights
I languish for the sighs of enmeshed GPAs
Let not the rigors of Chem 101 keep us apart
Oh my tart! I shall treat thee as a queen
catcheth the falling sack and rescue me
Personally, I would be insulted by donuts. You think I'm fat, don't you!
treat 'em rough to get the muff? you have some sick readers on this blog. i wonder if it was that same tooly academic from yesterday who wrote this...
Thine avoidance taketh its toll
I will not forsake thy belly roll
if thou canst overlook my facial mole
let a sugary feast be love's goal
different tooly academic. if it was a tooly academic.
I'm confused, when/where are we supposed to meet the guy with the donuts? Is it going to be when I'm in town, or will I have to send someone else as my correspondent/emissary?
I'm confused, when/where are we supposed to meet the guy with the donuts? Is it going to be when I'm in town, or will I have to send someone else as my correspondent/emissary?
i'm confused, doesn't jeremy know how easy it is to accidently post things twice with blogger?
Dorotha thy name is like maple syrup to my ear
oh dread! my deepest darkest fear
is that donuts heavy with glaze
will not set your passion ablaze
LDM
jeremy, i am willing to be your emissary to meet the donut man, but can i get an armed guard for my interactions with the poet? fyi, i actually dislike both donuts and maple syrup.
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