Thursday, June 30, 2005

i want to play too!

The latest blog craze: everybody is posting photos of their morning coffee (here and here and mockingly here). But I don't drink coffee!* Indeed, coffee is one of those things where I wonder whether it really tastes the same to other people as it does to me or whether I have some freak gene that produces a tongue enzyme that causes coffee to putrify in my mouth. Even a microgram of coffee in a cake or whatever is enough to turn my stomach. So, instead, I take my caffeine ridiculously inefficiently, in the form of bone-destroying and possibly-to-be-discovered-as carcinogenic** diet soda.

Being a non-coffee-drinker in as coffee-centric world as academia is enough to give a person an inferiority complex. Thank God for the book a friend gave me:



On the inside cover, in a epistolary preface addressed "Dear Self-Esteemer", the author does acknowledge the strangeness of pitching a book that would seem ostensibly about trying to increase the self-esteem of people who think they are complete idiots (actually, when put that way, it doesn't seem so strange at all, but rather on a par with The Best Person Ever's Guide To Humility and Realistic Self-Assessment). Anyway, while the editor moves to reassure the reader that of course we all know they aren't really a complete idiot, he then also says "We all have bits of the idiot in us." Upon reading this sentence, I thought: "Ah, the idiot. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Also, note how clean my office desk is! Inspired by my trip home, I am fighting a War On Clutter on both home and office fronts, which makes especial sense given my impending move.

* Except this one time I was supposed to meet an acquaintance at a coffeeshop, at which I typically get hot chocolate, but instead the coffeeshop closed earlier than we thought and just before I arrived. She had been thoughtful enough to buy me a coffee, and we sat and chatted outside. I was sufficiently touched by the gesture and awkward about telling this person I didn't know well that I didn't drink coffee that I drank the whole thing, revulsed sip after revulsed protovomity sip.

** Or at least so insist a couple of my more health- histrionic friends.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

one more harvard square (future) dweller upon which the local Peet's is (will be) wasted

Teddy said...

Yes, you MUST kick the nutrasweet/cola habit or else you'll be osteopenic before you can say uh ... osteopenia. Do what I did (or do, except when I get that m*&$er fu*%ing diet soda jones)DRINK BLACK TEA! It's refreshing, it's delicious, and, chances are, it really does have health benefits. Earl Grey with a splash of sugar and milk ... just don't tell your fellow Bean-towners what's in the mug ...

Rhymes With Scrabble said...

Wait, is it the aspartame or the carbonation that breaks your bones? I'm confused.

jeremy said...

Teddy: I don't drink tea either. Whatever it is that makes tea and coffee taste a little alike is the part of the taste I can't abide.

RWS: It's the carbonation, especially when in conjunction with sticks and stones, that breaks bones. Aspartnames will never hurt you.

Rhymes With Scrabble said...

Interesting. I'd always heard that carbonation was bad for your muscles, although I guess there's a connection there insofar as weight-bearing exercise builds bone density? Anyway, I drink tea and have a pretty low soda intake.

jeremy said...

Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if carbonation was bad for a person in multiple ways.