I'm pleased to announce that the winner of the 2004 NFL Pool is the legendary Number Six, Ashley Finley! Week in and week out, her steady play leaves the rest of us in awe. She has endured curse upon hex, and has been able to maintain her all-pro caliber performance while wearing a bulls-eye for the last two months. This is poise in the pocket. This is stepping into the throw with a 320-pound defensive end crashing towards you. And no one steps into the throw like this first-ballot Hall of Famer. Congratulations, Ashley! An honor richly deserved!So now I have a month to compose a recipe appropriate for an NFL pool winner. Any ideas?
In addition to taking home some sweet loot, Number Six also gets an original
cooking recipe named after her by "The Amazing" Jeremy Freese! We will all be waiting anxiously for this treat, as Jeremy will post the recipe on his blog (http://jeremyfreese.blogspot.com) during Halftime of this year's Super Bowl (Sunday, February 6th).
Friday, January 07, 2005
spoils
Last year, I agreed to augment the prize pool of Rob Clark's Famous NFL Pool by writing haiku for the winner. The haiku ultimately provided for the winner (who, that year, happened to be Rob) were unquestionably on the lame side, so I figured that would get me off the hook for providing future poetics prizes. Which it did, in a way, but only because Rob came up with an even grander idea this time around. He's just sent out the announcement of this year's winner:
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If it were me (and, thankfully, it isn't), I'd post a recipe for disaster. Kim.
Make'th ye a delightful hash
for thy pending football bash
first shalt thou 4 sweet potatos mash
adding brown sugar a most heavy dash
over this Brandy shalt thou pour
and add'eth brown sugar even more
walnuts next 1 kilo cut by four
(this recipe come'th from Romanian lore)
1 cup soaked raisins go'eth into the mix
add'eth thee but 3 crushed cinnamon sticks
upon it tiny marshmallows shalt thou affix
add more Brandy for thy guests their kicks
smear'eth 1/2 lb butter upon a cookie sheet
spread'eth thin this paste for thy fete
apply'eth ye a brazing torch with its heat
and spritz with Cognac to finish off the treat
- LDM
wow! i like LDM's recipe, except for the raisins. maybe you should go with that. or you could try something that my elementary school did as a fundraiser. each class had to come up with a recipe for part of a dinner. every fourth grade class wrote a recipe for chili. i remember that they were sort of disgusting. kids think that some weird stuff goes into chili (entire bottles of ketchup, for example), and the results were hilarious! we sold the recipe book to parents and neighbors, but i don't know what the school did with the money they raised. anyway, maybe you should ask some kids to come up with recipes.
My first thought was nachos. My second was dip. Helpful? I pray in regard to this.
-Henry
Thou couldst make use of chocolate bits
I bid'eth caution with dates their pits
avoid'eth Absinthe least thy guests have fits
and with thine torch wear'eth oven mits
what prize for which we doth wait?
anxious in Jeremy's hands our fate
like trenchermen our greed to sate
our recipes soon to duly rate - LDM
If there's an prize to be awarded, I think you're getting it, LDM. Hands down. You get the plaudits.
- Henry
DEEP FRIED CHEESE CURDS
Ingredients: 1 bag Cheese Curds, oil.
Directions: Remove Cheese Curds from plastic bag. Place in Presto deep fryer for ten minutes. Remove and enjoy.
I would hope the female readers of JFW are not swayed by the latest 'diversionary poem' of that doughnut man, whose letcherous disposition remains unaltered I'm sure. - Helpful In New Hampshire
There once was a donut poet,
Who had no talent but didn't know it,
His verses did suck,
But we're shit out of luck,
'Cause you know he'll keep trying to flow it.
Lonely Donut Man,
A talentless hack he is.
Please stop annoying.
Pox upon thy cocks!
thou remind'est me of oafish jocks
with simian gait and shorn locks
lumbering with thy thickened hocks
Poetic verse your kind always mocks
verily thy pointy ears shall I box! - LDM
I Post script'eth this for thee,wicked men
27 seconds to compose the words above with pen
I was well thy match at mere age of ten
and thou would'st curse my verse?
tangle with me,lads, thou shalt fare the worse
and garnish but a sow's ear for thy purse
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