Sunday, January 09, 2005

the baby has landed

Turns out that I was correct in my hypothesis that my friend Jan could not persist in her pregnancy indefinitely. Instead, yesterday, a baby boy burst suddenly from her stomach while she was standing in the checkout line at Hobby Lobby, with shards of umbilical shrapnel wounding several nearby shoppers.

There is still some uncertainty about what the child will be named. The issue apparently goes all the way back to 1989, when the Michigan Wolverines needed two free throws in the last seconds in order to seal their first ever national championship in basketball. Jan's husband John, an avid Michigan fan, made a solemn vow that if Wolverine player made the free throws, then he would name his firstborn child after the player. Rumeal Robinson did indeed step to the line and sink both shots, but, now that the namesake debt has come due, word is that Jan was only willing to go along with the Rumeal pact if they had a daughter, and here they are with a son.

In any case, congratulations Jan and John!

4 comments:

Joan said...

Oh, sure, you can make jokes about this sort of thing, Mr Freese, since you never have and never will be pregnant... but let me assure you, every woman who has ever been pregnant has passed through that dark, dark time where she's sure -- completely, totally, unequivocally positive -- that she will be the first woman to be pregnant forever.

Fortunately for everyone, it never works out that way!
Congratulations to new parents are never out of order, even if they are total strangers, so: Congrats to Jan and John, and happy birthday to the new baby!

Anonymous said...

the vikings won it was so orgasmic

Anonymous said...

Yes indeed, the cheese-heads bit the weenie big time yesterday. Favre needs to check himself into a geriatric ward, he had 4 picks. Moss did a mooning motion to signify his contempt of cheese-heads - are the good folks of Wisc. going to let that pass???????

Slava said...

Female names can be risque, male names are more likely to conform. Compare the variability of popular female baby names (Jennifer, Britanny) to the durability of males which seem to go all the way back to the Bible (Michael, John).

Jan wants a stalwart son but can tolerate an exogamous daughter.