Turns out that I was correct in my hypothesis that my friend Jan could not persist in her pregnancy indefinitely. Instead, yesterday, a baby boy burst suddenly from her stomach while she was standing in the checkout line at Hobby Lobby, with shards of umbilical shrapnel wounding several nearby shoppers.
There is still some uncertainty about what the child will be named. The issue apparently goes all the way back to 1989, when the Michigan Wolverines needed two free throws in the last seconds in order to seal their first ever national championship in basketball. Jan's husband John, an avid Michigan fan, made a solemn vow that if Wolverine player made the free throws, then he would name his firstborn child after the player. Rumeal Robinson did indeed step to the line and sink both shots, but, now that the namesake debt has come due, word is that Jan was only willing to go along with the Rumeal pact if they had a daughter, and here they are with a son.
In any case, congratulations Jan and John!