"You're really mean in how you talk about [name]."
"I'm not mean! You should see how nice I am when I am talking to him."
"What would you do if you could travel in time like David Blaine?"
"I would probably procrastinate more, but with less negative consequences. Other than looking much older than I supposedly am."
"Don't you worry that your professional credibility is undermined by having a blog where you put this personal information about yourself online?"
"I used to worry a lot about it. But I'm an empiricist, and my blog has had numerous opportunities to manifest observable negative professional consequences and it hasn't happened yet. Besides, I don't blog anything especially personal, and things that might undermine credibility I often refer to obliquely or like I'm talking about someone else, not me."
"I am totally discouraged and desolate about this paper I'm working on right now. I feel like I have gone from trying to spin a silk purse out of a sow's ear to feeling like I am trying to spin a silk purse out of a imaginary sow's ear. I must persevere with this, I know, but I must also take away lessons."
BTW: Happy birthday JECG, if you read this. Amaranthine.