Your Seduction Style: The Repellent |
 Face it: you don't really have a "style", much less one that could be effectively deployed toward any sort of goal of "seduction." Indeed, you are so awkward that often when people meet you they think there is something wrong with you. What you have imagined to be your "quirky charm" has instead been all along just weird and unsettling. You are doomed to be alone, excepting whatever plants or pets you may possess. Build a fort out of couch cushions in your living room and hide; to keep you company, we recommend macaroons and Season Four of the Mary Tyler Moore show. |
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
really, all i would do is watch the part in the opening credits where she throws her hat in the air. again and again. and have some more macaroons.
So, seems like everybody in SconnieSpace has been taking the What is Your Seduction Style? quiz that is making the rounds online (see, inter alia, here and here and here and here)? Despite expressions of skepticism about such quizzes by myself and (more amusingly) others, I thought: why not? Why shouldn't I use the powers to quizilla to find out whether I am a "dandy" or a "coquette", especially since it has never occurred to me to apply either of these terms (much less other alternatives, like "siren" or "rake") to myself at any point in my life. In any event, the quizilla tarot cards did not turn up kindly anyway. I'm not sure which of my answers tipped the quiz off to my true nature:
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10 comments:
Oh, it so did not say that, Jeremy! Pfft.
Poor Jeremy. I didn't know the situation was that bad. What a shame.
Even if it did say that, which it didn't, many of your readers are past, present, or want-to-be lovers, and already knew that you weren’t the seducing type. Most of them had to woo you for months or even years before they were noticed. But what your seduction profile doesn't cover is what a romantic giant you are after the initial seduction. This is the problem with these short blog quizzes. They can completely distort your self image. I predict that you'll be getting plenty of offers from women who are eager to share your fort and eat macaroons.
Just so you know, Anon-10:01-whoever-you-are, your comment made me laugh so hard that Diet Pepsi sprayed out of my nose (which was all the more strange because I wasn't even drinking Diet Pepsi at the time).
how did you get it to say that? i keep trying and trying to be repellent, but nothing i pick seems to lead me there. this isn't fair! i want to be repellent! that's me.
as for anonymous 10:01 - holy crap! "many of your readers are past, present, or want-to-be lovers!" jeremy's got a big readership. my mom's even read his blog. i hope this doesn't mean she's trying to get in your pants, jeremy. ick.
Aaahhh...the diet-pepsi-out-the-nose move. Now THAT is seduction!
Jeremy, I tried to take that quiz and got hung up on the question about what do on a date, where they had as one of the options "A traditionally romantic date, like a picnic in the park or ate the beach." "Ate the beach"? Reminds me of an old riddle I liked as a kid: what do you do when you go to the beach and have forgotten to bring your lunch? Eat the sandwiches there. Only riddle I've ever liked more is: when is a door not a door?
I prefer "Why is six afraid of seven?" to "When is a door not a door?", but both are top-drawer selections of the Childhood Riddle Hall of Fame. I don't actually get the beach riddle, but I'm often slow with these things.
Eat the sand, which is there.
That riddle would have been especially great for me as a child, as I was quite fond of sand sandwiches.
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