"Write something for your weblog."
"I'm working right now."
"It's not like I have a funny faucet I can just turn on."
"Okay. But do write something funny, not something mean. Your weblog has been on kind of a mean kick lately."
"A mean kick?"
"Yes, you've been a nabob of negativism. It's gotten to where I half expect to log in and see that you've uploaded a film of yourself setting fire to a marmot."
"No animals have ever been harmed in the making of my weblog."
"What about that bug you squashed?"
"I assure you that I would have squashed that bug just as swiftly had Al Gore never invented the Internet."
"Whatever. The point is: sunny-side-up! Nobody likes a churlish blog."
"I know I have a tendency to see the glass as considerably less than half-full."
"You have a tendency to see the glass as empty."
"I have a tendency to see the glass as broken and lying in shards on the floor, posing a tetanus peril to random passersby."
"Wasn't there some student who said you walk around like you've got a raincloud following you wherever you go?"
"Yeah, but I don't need a raincloud. I manage to find the black lining in every cloud."
"I suppose it's better than the student who said you look like you sleep in your car."
"Speaking of gloomy, I was talking to this friend of mine with a blog last week and all of a sudden she burst out with 'All these blogs! I feel like they are going to just implode one day and destroy us all! I can't stand it!'"
"What was that about?"
"I'm not sure. I think she gets overwhelmed by having to keep straight who blogs under their real name versus a fake name versus no name. Who changes the names of other people and who doesn't. Which details people disclose about their lives on their blogs are true and which aren't."
"Why is she complaining to you? You don't make up anything on your blog."
"I know. I'm like a beacon of honesty in a maelstrom of half-truths. Anyway, I have to go. I have to get this work done so I can spend some time this afternoon cleaning up the RV."