I found this in one of my books this evening. The handwriting is mine. It used to be that everything that mattered happened recently.
It's true statement, really, or at least true for me for over the last few years. It used to be everything that happened either happened not that long ago or happened when I was, to greater or lesser degree, still a kid. Now I say things like "Oh, that was 10 years ago" or "I haven't seen so-and-so in 7 or 8 years," with no sense of irony, because there is none.
Even so, when did I write this? Did I make it up, or did I take it from somewhere? And why did I write it on a sheet of memo pad that says "We were just friends who had sex"? Where did that come from? When in my life was I writing with a gold pen?
It used to be that I would only write something like this down if it struck me as especially interesting. When would I have thought this observation was interesting enough to write down?
And when would I have used it as a bookmark? It used to be that I was so absent-minded that everything that mattered would end up getting used as a bookmark: paychecks, my phone card, ketchup packets, kleenex.
It used to be that everything I'd written I'd remember having written. Now I keep getting confronted with random instantiations of my thoughts and having no idea of their provenance, or even if they were my thoughts or just my transcribing someone else's. It used to be that I knew when I was stealing material from other people. It used to be that I knew when I was repeating myself. For that matter, it used to be that I knew when I was repeating myself.
13 comments:
You have stationery that says, "we were just friends who had sex?" That's weird to me kind of.
Two things occur with age.
1. Memory weakens
2. I can't recall the other
Weird to me kind of as well.
That gold pen has "Dorotha" written all over it, if you ask me.
I think I'm most puzzled not by you having the stationery, but by it's existence in the first place. In what context would one ever need stationery that said "we were just friends who had sex?" I suppose I can imagine needing a single sheet to write a note that gets rid of that annoying "friend" who doesn't get that it's just sex and nothing more. But why couldn't you make that point yourself rather than letting your paper do it? And if you (you in the generic sense, I mean) need more than one sheet with said sentiment, doesn't that imply that there's something going awry with your general communication in these relationships?
I don't think that's a gold pen...I think it's an old PaperMate black pen that's faded with age.
People who are just friends don't have sex. If you have sex, you have irrevocably crossed over to some status other than just friends.
you didn't give us the biggest clue - in what book did you find this note?
.. and now it always happens in the evasive 'tomorrow'.
The note was inside Infinite Jest.
you sure it's your handwriting? it looks kinda girly...
It's my handwriting. It is kind of feminine.
Everything about this is hilarious-- I love it. On a somewhat similar note, though without the very funny stationary angle of the mystery, my brother recently found a note written by him (in his late childhood/very early adolescence, he thinks) that says "If I never see a girl again it will too soon" (missing word intended). He doesn't recall writing it, and has been trying to imagine what could have pushed him to such a desperate statement. (Surely it wasn't anything to do with his sister...)
~Karen A.
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