I got a course catalog today in the mail from the Cambridge Adult Education Center. I know a couple people here who have reported taking classes and finding them interesting, and so I thought about the idea of signing up for one myself. You know how I have this thing where I am otherwise wholly secular in my thinking, but I believe fate takes control of my hands and eyes and makes meaningful the first thing I see when I open up a book (example
here). Anyway, I opened up this catalog full of enthusiasm and what do I see:
Ugh. I don't want to "Master the Art of Aloneness." I just thought maybe I could maybe learn how to paint watercolors or make bouillabaisse, okay? I'm still surly from looking at this famous New Yorker cartoon:
and being struck with the thought that basically the whole process by which people go about making connections to people in a new city has proven itself over the years to be My Own Personal Step Two. Double ugh.
9 comments:
You know, I was talking with an old friend last night. She is recently divorced (not quite final yet, but the papers are submitted). She was commiserating with me about how hard it is to meet men. We are both at the point where we still like to out to bars, but don't want to actually meet the guys that are there at the bar. She's about to the point of trying an online dating service. I've thought about it, but am not really into the amount of "first dates" that would entail.
I'm sorry, but I have no answers for you, other than what my mother told me the other day: "Go to church, go to Lowe's," (yep, that's the part where wine came out of my nose). She actually suggested that I go to Lowe's and pretend to have some home improvement project that I'll need help to complete. I'm to the point where I actually considered it for all of two minutes.
That's life in the thirties for you...
Jeremy -- I have seen you on the street a couple of times, and always been tempted to say hi and let you know how much I've enjoyed reading your blog.
But each time I chicken on it in case I disturb some Really Important Sociology Idea. So should I be saying hello? (Last time, you ran out of nowhere and I was the person who blew smoke at you in surprise)
Oh...I actually only just got the subtext of this post...I guess you aren't really looking for the kind of "connection" that involves hanging outside the building whining about grad school. I am going to be quiet from now on.
No subtext to this post was intended. I don't discuss those kinds of subtexts on this blog.
That said, the idea of getting all dolled up and going to Lowe's is pretty hilarious.
Now I feel weird and creepy, like I've given the appearance of leaking all kinds of icky subtext onto my blog. I haven't! No subtext! None!
It seems to me that you've already mastered the Art of Aloneness given that you don't seem to be afraid to be single. The course seems relevant to people who're incapable of getting out of and/or staying out of relationships. There are plenty such people so I can see the use for such a course. Although those are likely people who are not single for the most part.
In general, I certainly do recommend signing up for a class for the purpose of 1. adding some fun activity to your life (especially if it exercises that other part of your brain); and 2. meeting some interesting people who are most likely not in academia (can be refreshing!). Taking such classes is not always helpful to achieve both of these goals, but can be at times. For sure, I've always achieved at least one of those two goals (whether it be foreign language class, pottery class or whatnot). It's also worth noting that the second goal takes more time. Ideal in this case is the type of activity that doesn't just last a few weeks and then people scatter since it's really hard to get to know people well when only meeting for an hour each week.
As for subtext, why would you need to leak subtexts around here when you're so incredibly forthright as is? I'm having a hard time imagining what content you wouldn't just pour out all over here openly.:-)
Would you call my cousin already? Goodness, Jeremy!
--EGP
Well, and maybe this is just my current research agenda talking, but go out there and join some community groups.
(And, uh, then could you jot down some fieldnotes and email them to me?)
If you're really having trouble meeting people, you probably don't want to. It's impossible not to meet people around here.
JP
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