Saturday, October 29, 2005

urgent request! and for the sake of art, no less!

A friend of mine from Seattle called me today at work. She was much distressed because she is scheduled next week to go onstage with a piece of 60-second performance art that she has apparently been "conceptualizing" for quite some time. She has everything she needs for the performance--which, among other things, involves a lot of paper mache--except she doesn't have the background music which is purportedly the vital linchpin for the entire thing.

That song is the 1983 minihit "White Horse", by Laid Back. If you know 80's music, you know it: "If you want to ride, don't ride the white horse / If you want to ride, ride the white pony." As far as I can tell, the song is not available on iTunes, it's not available on Napster, it's not available in the extensive JFW 80's archive.

It's arguably one of the worst songs of that entire decade, I know.* But she really needs it. And, no, I am not making this up, not even the part about the paper mache.

Would, um, anyone out there know how I might get a copy of it? The entire Pacific Northwest Very Brief Performance Art World would be grateful.

(And as long as I'm making requests: have you put a tack in my map yet? I've even added it to the sidebar. Completely pathetic for me to be a pest about it, I know. But something about the whole thing buoys my spirits; I won't profess to be able to explain it. Part of it, maybe, is that I've always had this thing for maps. They have a drama and romance for me that I don't think they have for very many other people. Like the time I saw a map of the New Jersey turnpike that was so poignant I began to weep.)

* Although not the worst, as of course that dystinction belongs to Glenn Frey's "The Heat Is On."

Update: Thanks to the help of a certain SynthPopQueen, the mission has been accomplished! Very Brief Performance Art is safe for another week!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've got the mp3, Jeremy. Sending you an email.
You're 80's synth-pop resource,
Jessie J.

Lissa said...

there are also a few versions of it on limewire (which is kinda like a new napster)

Anonymous said...

Your little map told me I have an invalid zip code (twice) even though it's the same zip code of a whole friggin' state university. Then, when I found one that was acceptable... I mis-typed my message. So now my JFW shout-out is saved in perpetuity with a typo. I tell ya... I don't like to play your games cause they end of biting me in the ass.
--TOK

Anonymous said...

Dude, Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time" is definitely worse than "The Heat is On."

-Nan

Anonymous said...

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
And this is how it goes!

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
And this is how it goes!

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
And this is how it goes!

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
And this is how it goes!

Anonymous said...

Picture a cowboy,
All dressed in red.
Slipped on a boulder,
Bashed in his head.
Blood on the saddle,
Blood on the ground,
Great big gobs of blood all around.

Second verse, same as the first, but a little bit louder and a little bit worse!

PICTURE A COWBOY,
ALL DRESSED IN RED.
SLIPPED ON A BOULDER,
BASHED IN HIS HEAD.
BLOOD ON THE SADDLE,
BLOOD ON THE GROUND,
GREAT BIG GOBS OF BLOOD ALL AROUND.

Third verse, same as the first, but a little bit louder and whole lot worse!

PICTURE A COWBOY,
ALL DRESSED IN RED.
SLIPPED ON A BOULDER,
BASHED IN HIS HEAD.
BLOOD ON THE SADDLE,
BLOOD ON THE GROUND,
GREAT BIG GOBS OF BLOOD ALL AROUND.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you will get your song. I agree The Heat is On is truly awful, but personally I find "We Built This City" by Starship to be much worse. It's particularly painful because it could be argued that they did build the city, but certainly not with ultra-crappy songs like that.

john said...

Was the "dystinction" intentional?

jeremy said...

All puns on this blog are intentional.

Although "We Built This City" and "Party All The Time" are detested by many others, I must admit that I am not personally unfond of either of them. Especially since WBTC is a good karaoke song, if you know how to do the radio announcer part in the middle.