Thursday, August 02, 2007

this paper is really good! and so courteous for how it is double-spaced and stapled! i need to alert the pikes right away!

My first day not being a Wisconsin faculty member, and I'm the recipient of a mass e-mail the likes of which I never before received:
Dear University of Wisconsin-Madison Faculty,

I am a student at the University that you as a collective make so great. I humbly ask you as the mentors of this great institution to recommend individuals that you have seen excel in the classroom for entry into our brotherhood.

Our fraternity Pi Kappa Alpha is dedicated to taking men of integrity and principle and turning them into scholars, leaders, athletes, and gentlemen. Many of the men whom we pledge have already excelled in scholastics, leadership, athletics or courtesy. These pledges happen to be the most active and successful in our chapter. Imagine what a group of your recommended students could accomplish as a collective.

We live by our creed. We do not haze our pledges. Our rush period is alcohol free. We have the deepest respect for all people no matter their religion, orientation, race, or creed. We contend that the greater the diversity in our chapter the more we can learn from each other and help each other grow.

The Beta Xi chapter of Pi Kappa Alpha believes that the faculty of the University of Wisconsin-Madison would be the most qualified to identify men who excel in scholastic, leadership, athletic, and chivalrous situations. We would be greatly honored if you could send the name and email address of each undergraduate you want to recommend.
According to Wikipedia, Jon Stewart was a Pike. Then again, so was Karl Rove. When I started at the University of Iowa, the Pikes seemed the most prestigious house, but then had some scandal involving cocaine and other conduct that resulted in them expelling many of their members. At Madison, campus police had a security campaign that put posters all over with the slogan "Badger Eyes Are Watching You." If I was back in Madison now, I would have my own badger eyes on the lookout for chivalrous contact so I could pass those names along. I'm sure in my absence other faculty are now eagerly embarking on doing the same.

Is it common for fraternities elsewhere to send a mass message to faculty asking for recommendations? I've never heard of it before.

8 comments:

sara said...

Your usually Very Clever Titles are exceptionally good this week. I trust this augurs well for every title of the rest of your life...

jeremy said...

Thanks! You'd make a great Pike!

Anonymous said...

My guess is their house-GPA is down and they're trying to avoid "double-secret probation" or some such punishment...

Captian Crab said...

I'm still on double secret probation. And I'm 55! Those university people never let up.

Anonymous said...

glad to see anon comments are back!

Kieran said...

Obviously what's needed is the Pike Signal and possibly also a Pikemobile.

Fraternities and sororities still mystify me. They're the bit of American University Life that still seems alien. (I'm the alien, of course.)

Brady said...

At my undergrad school, the Pikes were known for losing/almost losing (I can't quite recall) their charter after some party went somewhat awry.

This was considered nowhere near as cool as the Kappa Sigs, who almost lost theirs for, one particularly drunken evening, initiating a dog.

Anonymous said...

The Pikes were banned from the University of Texas when I was there. I'm pretty sure it was a hazing incident of some kind. They were not known for their chivalry at the time. Maybe they've turned over a new leaf!
JJ