Friday, February 03, 2006

therms of endearment

So, I was surprised last month when I opened my gas bill and it was $300, considering how small my apartment is and the radiator in my bedroom doesn't even work. This month I've mostly kept the thermostat at 58 degrees, which is easier for me than most people because of my inner radiance. I got my gas bill yesterday and opened it eager to see what difference my icy determination had made. Lo:



Which was less distressing once I remembered that I hadn't actually paid my bill from the previous month. Meaning this total included that, and my bill for this month was less than half of what it was the month before.

I should still call my landlord and ask why the radiator in my bedroom still doesn't work. I recognize that the previous sentence contains two stills, but I'm in a hurry and a non-cumbersome edit that exactly preserves semantics is not obvious to me.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

does said radiator have -- on its side -- a small air-release valve with a dial (about the size of a penny)? if yes, try to turn the dial clockwise to open it. if it's closed, the radiator may not produce heat.

Anonymous said...

"This month I've mostly kept the thermostat at 58 degrees, which is easier for me than most people because of my inner radiance."

Good humor! The matter-of-fact delivery in the middle of a paragraph cracked me up.

Anonymous said...

Oh, inner radiance abounds in Cambridge. And it was a Cantabrigian who suggested the 58 setting in these very Comments. But, that's okay -- as long as it helps to keep you solvent.

Kieran said...

I have a partly solar-powered home out here in the desert. My guaranteed average heating/cooling costs year round are a less than a dollar a day. I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

which leaves more money to leave the desert and travel to hip places like...say, cambridge! :-)

jennifer said...

you mean they didn't cut you off?

jeremy said...

I don't know, can they just cut off your heat for missing a month. It would save me a lot of money if they cut me off, I suppose.

I did inquire with my landlord today about the radiator problem in my bedroom.

Anonymous said...

You jest, but no — you'll have to wait awhile before they start sending warnings and shut off utilities.

Of course, you'd have to pay a fee to have them turn things back on, as well as what you owe.
Still, you could bask in pleasure of being a deadbeat! (Sort of like those people who lurk in the pit outside Cambridge Savings Bank — and think of the laundry savings — go for it, man!).

Anonymous said...

Careful what you wish for.

Anonymous said...

But the temperatures in Cambridge have been nudging 50 degrees all thru January. Cause and effect at work here...

Rhymes With Scrabble said...

I was going to say, I don't think there ARE any utilities that get shut off for a mere month of non-payment. When I lived in the Nightmare Boxcar Apartment, my then-boyfriend turned out to have been "taking care of" the electric bill by ignoring it, and they didn't shut off the power for three or four months (and, conveniently, a few days after he moved back into the dorms).

carly said...

We just got our gas&electric bill and Rich opened it up and was shocked. It was way higher than last month, despite setting the thermostate lower.

He informed me of this, and then paused, looked down at the bill again and said,

"Oh, I pulled a Jeremy" :)