"Have you ever thought you might have Assburro's syndrome?"
"Is that where other people are constantly trying to get you to carry things on your back?"
"No, you know what I mean. What's it called?"
"Why would you think I have Aspberger's syndrome?"
"You don't really hug people. You just do it very quickly, like you want to get it over with."
"Dear God. So I'm not so touchy-feely. That's my rural Midwestern roots. Why is it so in vogue to take every person with a couple awkward quirks and speculate that they might have some kind of high-functioning autism?"
"Don't flatter yourself. I've never thought of you as being high functioning."