Wednesday, March 02, 2005

cow to army to girlfriend to wife to girlfriend to strip club to cow: one man's journey

From AP (via Angela Boring):
"Neillsville, WI (AP): A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves.

Harold G. Hart, of Neillsville, allegedly told police that he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to [note: presumably, they mean 'home from' instead of 'to'] strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville.

Hart told police he had sex with heifers before he went into the service in 1963 and resumed about a year ago at the farm. He admitted to using a rope to tie calves around the neck and estimated he had been to the farm 'at least 50 times,' according to the complaint.

He told police he never had sex with animals while maintaining a relationship with a girlfriend or his wife, the complaint said."

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Harold had his druthers and chose a cow
lads of the Dells oft' prefer a sow
'tis a sad fact that those who must plow
have hormones rising like the DOW
for such clever verse I take'th a bow
and say'th no more for now
-LDM

dorotha said...

have to admit i got bored with LDM's comment by the second line. only thing worth noting: LDM knows about the Dell's. h/she (ze?) is a sconnie.

Anonymous said...

Nay Dorotha, I am not from the land of cheese
t'was only you I only sought to please
donuts to win your heart with ease
now t'is a driving Muse I'm forced to please
e'r with lovely verse to appease
a labor of love, it make'th me wheeze!
sadly thou disdain'th me like one with fleas
saying my donuts are soaked in greeze
-LDM

Anonymous said...

This just in, folks. Native Americans are sorely disappointed over Ward 'Many Tribes' Churchill's speech at Whitewater the other night. He chose not to wear the traditional attire of any of the tribes with which he has claimed affiliation. Wagering had grown heavy amongst the Cherokees, Creeks, Choctaws and Metis, each believing Ward would represent their culture. One Creek fellow, who wished to be anonymous, said: "Even though Churchill is not an Indian, at least he could have shown the Public an imitation of our traditional regalia. I mean, if you're gonna' be a fraud, go all the way. I had a crisp $20.00 that said he would strut up there (on stage) as one of us (Creek)."

Well! That fellow and a bunch of other Native bettors were indeed quite disappointed. Other event participants were equally upset when the intellectual elit of UW did not raise any ethical concerns. John One Strike, a Traditional Cherokee from North Carolina, said: "The sucker could go up on stage in red face and he would still be applauded. Let someone go in black face and it makes national news and gets an investigation. This rip-off exploits us and he is a hero to the Left." Atta' boy, John! Exercise your freedom of speech, but remember, with fewer than 2 million of you Indians and no money or political clout, it really doesn't matter what you say and think. Ward can be compensated for teaching expertise claimed from heritage that he doesn't have. It's the American way, John. Your culture and heritage are irrelevant. You heard it second here, folks, at JFW.
The Massabi Ranger

Anonymous said...

i don't like the poems either. i usually just skip 'em. you're a better person than i, dorotha, for at least reading them enough to get bored. dear, loney donut man. maybe you wouldn't be so loney if you would stop writing f'ing poems.
--tennessee

Anonymous said...

Want'th boring? Go to yon Sconnie's site
O! how they act'th contrite
Tsk!Tsk! such a fright
with 'nary a Ph.d candidate in sight
Woe! from critical issues they take'th flight
Yea! though with thee I seek'th no fight
verily have'th I the literary might
this critique to prove'th right
-LDM

Anonymous said...

Freese, your troll has been loose. He has been sniffing around and posted on another Blog a couple of days back. I was able to trace him back here. I was not successful in luring him to my Blog. You better keep a tight rein on him if you want to keep him.

knit wit said...

and don't forgot the other Wisconsin headline this week- not quite as interesting as the cow story, but the headline is much better- "skunk bit my junk."

Anonymous said...

Buddie and Ollie Gunned Down!

This just in, folks. Out in Caliente, CA. a one St. James Davis and his goodly wife LaDonna were both assaulted by chimps after they had brought a cake to another chimp named Moe. The good-hearted Davis couple had rescued Moe, who by the way it is reported has a history of being aggressive towards humans, and had brought a cake to help him celebrate his one year anniversary of being rescued.

Buddie and Ollie, two other confined primates, took issue with this and chewed off most of St. James face, according to the report. The goodly LaDonna had her hand bitten. Moe apparently decided to partake of the cake and didn't join in on the attack. Buddie and Ollie were gunned down and the Davis couple were taken to a hospital. Two other chimps escaped and were on the lam until apprehended by authorities. Details are scant on who actually capped the chimps and what kind of a cake Moe was given, but Mr. Davis will require extensive surgery to attach his nose. It's a tie, folks, 2 for 2. Two chimps down and two humans in the hospital. Confine an animal and snub him by giving cake to another and you get your face chewed off, a lesson learned the hard way by the Davis couple, and you heard it second here at JFW.
The Massabi Ranger

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think LDM is Harold G. Hart?

Anonymous said...

I'm not the cold callous cow connoisseur called Hart
t'is apparent my verse cause'th thee to fart
I only seek'th some fair loving heart
but woe! Nina & Dorotha reject me and tear'th me apart
saying fie! his donuts come'th from Wal-Mart
Woe! now must I pursue some street-slut tart
who at least can appreicate my culinary art
and thee, sir, be'th not too smart
like the Ass that pull'th the proverbial cart
for verily my verse make'th the top-ten chart
and t'was the Freese Blog that begot my start
-LDM

Anonymous said...

what a waste

Anonymous said...

hey fartmouth (aka ldm), didn't you post recently on evil glitter princess's blog? maybe she's your girlfriend now.

Anonymous said...

Hearken! Poems are but a matter of personal taste
like marinade upon a roast to baste
Nay! never never none of mine do I cut n' paste
my verse for lonely lovely lively lasses is so sweetly laced
be they harlots be they chaste
luring them from bakery to bed, no time to waste
-LDM

Anonymous said...

hey! ldm just called egp a whore! let's get him!

Anonymous said...

pillsbury doth make me fart
but baked goods fanatics may take heart
though the doughboy is no kin of mine
the keebler elf is my cousin so fine
-LDM