Monday, October 08, 2007

the five things i hate most (not in order)

1. Wicker furniture
2. Coconut
3. Bats
4. War criminals or SPSS (tied)
5. The New York Yankees

The Yankees are six outs away from being out of the playoffs. My hopes are up, and yet I have this dismal, accursed feeling like they will escape this peril and continue to torment me.

Malcolm Gladwell once compared rooting for the Yankees to rooting for Wal-Mart against a mom-and-pop-store. This is the single truest thing Malcolm Gladwell has ever written.

Update, 10:32pm: Only three outs left. Please, please.

Update, 10:34pm: Jeter pops up. Two outs left. Please-please-please-please-please.

Update, 10:36pm: Abreu hits a home run. Cleveland's lead down to two runs. Bother!

Update, 10:39pm: Rodriguez flies out. One out left. Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

Update, 10:41pm: Strike out! O, happy day! Happy day! Better than a chocolate malt with extra malt!


Elizabeth said...

Nahhh, not to worry, they're not going to win. I'm rooting for the Indians only because they have a better chance to beat the Red Sox (who I dislike second only to the Cubbies who sit deliciously demoralized and ready to face the Brewers next year to start AND end the season. Hee hee, see you at Miller Park!).

john said...

I watched the updates appear via gradual refresh, and when the last one appeared, I too cried out in joy.

Ang said...

I always heard it like this: "rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house in blackjack."

If you google "rooting for the Yankees is like" you get a bunch of like-minded stuff. Funny.

christopher uggen said...

jeremy, i love your hates (especially coconut. mmm...), but i'm right there with you on the yankees. g'head, ya whiny cake eaters -- sign torii hunter and johan santana. then back up the dump truck and pour another 25 million on the remains of poor ol' roger clemens and billy martin. i'll stand with the twins and the brewers.

fyi, around these parts, a sect of subversive anti-gopher-hockey heretics claim that my gophs are the yankees of college hockey and, hence, must be actively rooted-against. i'm not buying it, since only a handful actually care about college hockey.

fyi II. it would not be expensive to become the new york yankees of american sociology. for about 10 million dollars per year (a surprisingly do-able amount by university standards), one could build a good size department around the biggest names in the business (soc start-ups are cheap relative to those of other disciplines). of course, we'd all hate them, too.

pj said...

Re #2: Are you referring to flying mammals that eat insects and pollinate plants or sports equipment wielded by the dreaded Yankees?

Jamy said...

I was explaining to someone not from the US (but who has lived here for about 5 years) why all right-thinking people hate the Yankees. I pretty much came up with Gladwell's reason, but not nearly so eloquently.

Way to go Indians!

jeremy said...

PJ: the sports equipment. And just bat-bats, I'm quite fond of wombats and (especially) numbats.

Ang: "Rooting for the Yankees is like" is one of the more interesting Google searches I've done lately, especially the different corporations that have been compared to the Yankees (which show a good deal less ultimate durability than the Yankees do). Thanks for the idea.

Chris: I had never heard of the idea of Gopher hockey being like the Yankees. I'm not sure even Duke basketball is like the Yankees.