buy a vowell (or, at least, rent some vowellian violence)

From article about a benefit for 826 held in Seattle a few days ago:

[The venue] was packed (if not quite sold-out) and a round of pass-the-hat that touted hugs from [Dave] Eggers for a $20 donation and a "jovial, buddy punch" from [Sarah] Vowell for $5 raised an unfathomable $10,000 — certainly something to talk and sing about.

Argh! If I wasn't stuck here on the wrong coast, I could have been buddy-punched by Sarah Vowell for only $5! Maybe I could have even convinced her to congenially coldcock me for $20.