Monday, July 04, 2005

i can't help it! it's like there are these twee pop supertwins inside me just clawing to get out!

I deny all assertions that I am tone-deaf. I have, however, admitted to the possibility that I may be tone-hearing-impaired. This, if true, makes the fact that I pulled off a master's thesis (and subsequent publication) on prosody all the more impressive. Whatever the real capacities of my ear, it's a plain fact that I can't really sing. I have a five-note range, can only actually hit four of the notes within this range, and none of these reliably.

None of which means that I don't enjoy singing, but I have learned to avoid the ridicule that comes with subjecting to melodic stylings.* So I belt it out in the private spaces of my world, such as the especially acoustically pleasing environment of the shower. The elevator also provides a nice acoustic environment, and you would think on the weekends singing in the privacy of the elevator would be safe. I've been listening to Tegan and Sara obsessively the past week, and, when the elevator doors re-opened on the fourth floor yesterday, the line I was singing a bit too loudly was from the chorus of one of their best songs: "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive." The person who happened to be standing outside the elevator had that kind of bemused look that gives away that apparently voices carry through elevator doors. At least, I suppose, he didn't look at me and say "You're not attractive."

* Karaoke doesn't count! As anyone who has seen my renditions of "Goodbye Earl," "Take Me to the River," or "Stacy's Mom"** knows, I don't sing at karaoke so much as perform. But, verily, I can actually sing a little better than what I've shared with the masses at karaoke.

** And, yes, I admit, shouting "Yeah, well, your Mom is next!" to hecklers in the crowd was going a little too far, especially given my professional position, etc..


Rhymes With Scrabble said...

Usually what happens to me is that I am in the elevator making little sound effects for something (like "yoink," etc.) just as the door opens and there is some random person staring at me.

But I have been very quietly singing folk songs on a couple of such occasions. I don't get to sing folk songs at karaoke.

dorotha said...

i just want to remind you that, just like mirah, these two are also more likely to be enamored of me than of you.

A+ said...

Re: Karaoke. Everyone knows that what you lack in accuracy you make up for in style. Anyone can sing in tune. But only a few people can repeatedly die of black-eyed pea poisoning with such pizzazz.